How to Lose a Job in Ten Days

Starting a new job is like starting a new relationship, and whether it’s a relationship with a romantic interest or a new company, there are certain things you DON’T want to do right off the bat, e.g. gifting your partner a love fern (shoutout Andie.) Just as Andie tries to scare off Ben in How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, in this article we explore How to Lose a Job in Ten days with some helpful DON’Ts and DO’s when starting a new job.

DON’T be too clingy, needy, or whiney. Your coworkers are a resource, but they’re not the only ones. Before asking your 10,000th question of the day to poor Mary you should first check all other available resources that may be able to help you, such as a company playbook or training manual. If you still can’t find what you’re looking for, please DO ask your colleagues! They’ll appreciate that you’ve tried finding the solution yourself first.

DON’T give your coworkers nicknames when first getting to know them. DO call people by their name, and desired pronouns. If you’re unsure, just ask. No need to call out Mr. Sniffles every time someone blows their nose!

If you are working in an office, respect the shared space (key word being shared). Bring as many plants as you’d like for your own desk, but don’t impose your things on others. This can look like wearing headphones if you like to listen to music while working or asking your co-workers if they mind before bringing your pet into the office (if allowed).

I mean, who doesn’t love dogs?! But what if Mary is allergic? Best to be sure!

Office plants are cool. If bringing one in, remember to care for it. Your coworkers may not know how much water a love fern needs to thrive.

DON’T Yuck someone’s Yum. In addition to respecting the office space, more importantly, respect your peers. The office should be a safe space. Be kind.

DON’T work a remote position from literally anywhere. Just because it is remote does not mean you can be at the Knicks game while on the clock. You may end up on the kiss cam and your manager may have a hard time believing you were actually working with a hotdog and beer in hand.

No, you can’t work remotely from a Celine Dion concert, either. Welp.

Moving on to more serious business, below is a list of things you should DO in your first ten days.

  • If you are working onsite, plan your commute in advance. Ask about parking if driving. If possible, visit the location before your first day, or give yourself extra time on your first day to arrive early.
  • Ask your manager or HR about important first week items such as payroll, how to enter your time, work schedule, enrolling in benefits, and anything else that will be important throughout your employment.
  • If working remotely, make sure your internet is reliable and working space allows for a productive workday.
  • Make sure your schedule is free your first week or two. If you already have an important appointment scheduled, communicate this information with your manager before starting.
  • Take notes during training, and jot down any important information that’s shared.
  • Make sure you have childcare, eldercare, and pet care accounted for before your first day.
  • If you don’t know what you’re supposed to be doing, be proactive and ask. Don’t wait to be given work or told what to do.
  • Be patient and kind with yourself. Starting a new job can be tough, especially in the beginning. Give yourself time for mental breaks when absorbing lots of new information.

Remember, you’re a Professional!

Image Sources:
imdb.com/title/tt0251127/mediaviewer/rm1960745216
sbnation.com/nba/2018/9/14/17673356/how-to-lose-a-guy-in-10-days-knicks-celine-dion-madison-square-garden
twitter.com/NetflixTudum/status/1016764918035460101
“Nobody likes a Mr. Sniffles!” (How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days)
getyarn.io/yarn-clip/cf9bb3aa-b661-430a-9f32-9f8f47b519e1
www.pinterest.com/pin/how-to-lose-a-guy-in-10-days–456974693411144131/
Photo by Huy Chien Tran

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